Right, lets get
this blog started again!
Next weekend, I will stand on the start line of the Viking Way Ultra; 147 miles from Hull to Oakham with a cut off of 40 hours. This will be my second attempt at this tough event, and yes, it does pass very close to my home in Lincoln!
On Facebook I
posted, “So 113 miles in 27 hrs continuous running - I was a broken man when I
stopped. Disappointed to score a DNF but still proud. Not a failure - failure,
for me, would be not being prepared to give it a go and put body & mind on
the line”.
Many people sent
me messages. “Well done……A valiant effort……Proud of you”
Yet the more I
thought about it, the more it niggled at me.
I also
received this message from a runner that I rate as one of the absolute mentally
toughest I know.
“Just read your
last post. Grrrrr
I'm sure you
have loads of friends who give you soft, cuddly feedback.
Good mileage
but that wasn't what the race was about. It was to finish a 150 mile race.
And you fucked
it.
A lot of
average peeps can do 110 miles in 24hrs.
So why are you piling in after your shift?
Lesson 1: Know
your enemy. What does it take to finish
the race? Were you disabled? Visible or
physical injury? I say this because it’s the only thing that could have stopped
me finishing. A MIND SET! What was the cut off that stopped you? Mentally you had less than 30 miles to
go. Even at a slow walking pace
you.should have finished in 12 hours? These are just numbers. I know this is very different from doing the
distance in any discipline. Know thine enemy.
Take a breath,
and build up with successes and finishes..
And from there you can build into longer
and longer ultras. I think from
your shape you have huge potential in long distance ultras. Give you self a chance”.
And that was the
truth. It was harsh but it was the truth.
I was tired, very
tired but I wasn't disabled. I was hurting but I wasn't injured. Ultimately my head had stopped me. The internal conversation went
something like this:
“113 miles done,
only 30 to go. Definitely getting there”
“Bloody hell,
another 30 miles! That’s more than a marathon……that’s another ultra”
“Just 30 – I can
walk that if necessary. Lots of time to spare”
“But I’m really
tired. Really, really tired. And it hurts”
“Think of all the
ice cream in the freezer. So much better if you finish”
”Ha……if you
finish now, you can get home for tea and have a curry and have the ice cream
tonight!”
And there you
have it.
I stopped so that
I could be home for tea.
Since then I have
become much tougher mentally. At least I have when it comes to running ultras!
I have finished the Spine, the MdS, Hardmoors 110, Lakes 10 Peaks. I now know
what it takes to finish these biggies – physically and mentally. I know the
places they take you. The highs and the lows.
I know that
similar thoughts will go through my mind in this year’s race, and probably some
new demons, but I will be ready for them. I know that these thoughts are
usually transient – each event has it bad spells and each has its good spells.
Enjoy the good, deal with the bad. I also know to cut it up into manageable
chunks – not 30 miles to go, but 10 to the next checkpoint.
So, I am ready to
put this baby to bed. It’s been in the back of my mind for 2 years because I really
should have finished it the first time. Physically I feel in great shape and
mentally I am as good as I have been for a while.
I’m ready to get
on that Highway to Hull
One further message
after the race, from someone rather close to me, also stands out:
“One day, my
darling you will realise that you have nothing to prove. You run because you
enjoy it, and you are good at it, and you are very fit as a result of it. We
all love you just as you are; you don't have to run 150 miles to be worthy of
that love”
Food for thought indeed.
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