On Saturday morning I will be standing on
the start line of the Spine for the 5th time. That’s every running
of the Spine Race.
Why?
Well, quite frankly, at this precise moment
I have absolutely no idea. The thought of spending 6 days outside in the current
weather isn’t exactly filling me with glee.
With finishes in 2013 and 2015, I don’t
really need to prove anything to anybody. But I feel I do. Continually.
Every summer, I have this vision of the
Spine being held in perfect winter conditions. Some frost and snow on the
ground, lovely blue skies. A week outside in these conditions calls me, and
even the thought of it makes me smile. And I enter!
The Spine is a calling and I find myself unable to ignore it, unable to turn my back on it, unable to walk away. I have made so many really good friends through competing in the Spine. It really is one big family.
I’m as physically fit as I’ve been for
ages. I’m leaner than I was through the summer. In good conditions, I’d be
expecting a cracking run.
However, mentally I’m nowhere. I hate this continual greyness; it’s had a massive negative effect on me. Everything is
negative even though everything should be positive. I’m probably talking myself
right out of the event, but I just can’t just see myself finishing. I can’t
visualize it.
At least I’ve packed my kit with due
diligence. In 2014, I got all my kit out and then put it all away again. I just
didn’t want to do it at all. I did start and had a miserable first few hours,
eventually DNF’ing just before Hawes. I was very wet and cold, but if I’d
really wanted it I could have continued. I didn’t.
You have to really want this event or it
will rip you to pieces.
Last year, I was in great shape and my head
was absolutely in the right place. I really wanted it and had a great time
eating my way up the cake shops of England, finishing in joint 10th
place.
My plan this year was to give it a real
crack. Is to give it a real
crack.
So, I will be on the start line and once we
get going, I’m sure everything will fall into its Spiney place.
“Everything will be all right in the end... if it's not
all right then it's not yet the end.”
Ultimately, as I wrote last year, the Spine
is what I do in January…..but I think 5 starts is enough.
It's certainly enough for Jenny!
Incidentally, I hope I meet this lovely waitress again....